The forgotten year

She felt a twinge. He did not want her. Really he could have had her anytime he wanted. She wasn’t just his prisoner. She was his. Over the last year in Lanka, she had lost her heart to the man the world presumed had kidnapped her.

Yes he had never kidnapped her. Nothing half as fancy or bizarre had happened as what that Valmiki had constructed. In truth, she and Ram had had another one of their squabbles. In anger she had walked out of the hut.

This time for good.

Sia couldn’t take any more of him. Him with his high principles. As she crossed the jungle clearing, she saw the tiger Sia decided this was the best way to end her life. All those years spent following a man who was nothing but an empty shell of what she had imagined. All his words, morals, principles, everything was meant for the other life.

Nothing for here and now.

But she was here. And her needs needed to be fulfilled now.

She stood before the ferocious beast and made an impassioned speech for it to take her away, deliver her from her misery, and make a meal of her. At least then there would be some purpose to her vagabond life.

The tiger roared. It almost sounded like a laugh. And then she realised it was a laugh. Before her very eyes the tiger with his roar morphed into Ravan with his bellowing laughter.

Sia had never seen Ravan before so she thought he was some pagan jungle God. He wasn’t breathtakingly handsome, but when he stood before her, she knew she had met a ‘force’.

He politely introduced himself. In the most casual manner he said, “Ravan, you may have heard of me”

She blinked.

“Oh the ten heads are metaphorical, if you are looking for them” said Ravan.

She stood there gaping at him. Everything that had happened before this moment seemed to shrink in comparison. She, Sia, wife of Ram, whom some said was born to rid the world of evil, was facing The Ravan all alone defenceless.

Only, Ravan didn’t attack her.

In fact what he did was advise her to return to the hut because the jungle was unsafe. And she poured her heart out to him. She was just a child when she married; everything seemed glorious then, the swamvar, Ayodhya, Ram, and even the Vanwaas. But now as the years had passed she wanted none of the glory, nobility or her acquired ideal wife status. Sia wanted a home and children.

She spoke, like she had never spoken before. After all there was no one who would listen, in this forest. Ram was to busy handling the cosmos and Lakshman he couldn’t see beyond his brother. For the first time she had met a person who, although not on her side, was definitely not going to side with Ram.

Ravan patiently heard her, well ranting. When she finished she was on the verge of tears. He waited till she had composed herself. And then Ravan said.

“You are more woman than Devi. Perhaps born a few million years before or after your time. There was a time and there will be a time when your views would be the norm. But not know. A woman can’t leave her husband weather he is Ravan or Ram. You will have to return.”

Sia knew he was right. But she did not want to go back. She threatened to continue her journey into the forest. He requested her to wait, he’d think of something. After all, he did not have those 10 heads for nothing.

His solution was quite an ingenious one. Sia would go with him to Lanka. Live there as a guest, she’d be safe there he guaranteed. Ram would ultimately find out and follow. Not for love but for his pride in always doing the right thing and to protect one’s wife was the right thing. Even if that wasn’t what she wanted. Later a battle would ensue. Ram would win and take her home like a prize trophy. It won’t change much but it would give Sia a year of freedom.

She was the bait, that she knew. But it was odd that Ravan wanted to draw out Ram, not to kill him, but be killed himself. While she was still thinking about the problem, Ravan answered.

“It’s part of the cosmic cycle. It’s my turn to die. I’ve been waiting for the last 14 years. But Ram is a reluctant God who has a large role to play and is unsure of himself. Whatever his move, this time the dice has rolled against me.”
She was surprised at his ability to read her mind. Later it seemed almost natural. She’d think of a question. He’d answer it.

They flew over the forest and ocean in his wind craft. No Jatayu attacked them, but they did have a bird hit. Many years later when she would think about this journey she’d wonder if all legends were born of truths so mundane.


Lanka.

Lanka was an embodiment of her ruler. Not splendid like Mithila, her home, or ostentatious like Ayodhya. It was a powerful fortress, made of natural volcanic rock. Set amidst the most unique shade of emerald green grass and surrounded by the might grey ocean, it was so raw and natural that it evoked a gasp from Sia.

Once the wind craft descended, Ravan took her straight to the palace. He made arrangements for her stay, ensured that she was comfortable and then left. Initially, Ravan visited her at the Ashok Vatika just to play his part as a gracious host. But gradually these visits increased in frequency and duration.

When Sia was with Ravan time flew. As she got to know him better, she understood Ram a bit more. For Ravan, was an absolute anti thesis to Ram. That was perhaps the only thing scriptures of the future would get right. Where Ram was constrained Ravan lacked restraint. The words moderation and temperance had no meaning for him. Yet this did not make him a rakshas. In fact it made him almost super human. He wanted what no man ever dared to desire. And acquired it.

His biggest sin, or achievement, depending on where you stood, was the war against the Gods. Ravan counter argued that it was a king’s duty to extend his kingdom far and wide. There was no limit to that, no territory marked off. He had merely followed his duty when he extended his dominion over heaven.

There was in him an over arching desire to constantly test the limits, outdo himself and challenge the norm. This was his flaw. And it enraged the Gods so they had decided to send one of their own to punish him.

This reminded Sia of something she had heard at her father’s court. During a discussion on literature a Greek emissary had described the pattern of Greek tragedies. In every story the hero was man of great character, who rose to enviable heights, yet he suffered from one tragic flaw. This flaw often enraged the Gods, who then engineered his downfall.

If a Greek literary were to write his story, Ravan would surely be a hero, Sia said.

He laughed.

And with that he introduced her to the ‘other’ point of view. Grey he felt was a truer reflection of things than black and white, good or evil. When Ram would win the war, it would be called the victory of good over evil. However if Ravan was the victor and lived to tell the tale the picture would change colours. It would be the story of how a king deeply in love with his people protected the land and its culture from a foreign invasion.

Often they sat for hours discussing things. She knew Ravan saw in her an intellectual worth his time. After all he was one of the wisest men of his age, and to have him give her his time was the best compliment she had received. It made her proud.

Sia saw in Ravan a infectious zest for life and living. Yes it came with its excesses wine and women. But Sia was ready to overlook them. Somehow Ram’s 14 year of denial and austerity did not compare well with a man who could enjoy every moment knowing that it brought him closer to certain death.

Once while travelling in the wind craft Sia heard Ravan give instructions to begin a new project. Her wistful look told him what she was thinking. He’d never be there to see them complete. Ravan answered the unasked question.

This life we have been given is the envied even by the Gods. Only because of the myriad emotions we can feel. Joy, sorrow happiness, pain, love, anger, lust. To deny myself any of these would be a foolish waste of this human life.



Slowly Sia had begun to fall for the Demon king with his gentle manner and tremendous strength. The revelation first came to her when he was away to another sphere and could not meet her for 10 days. At first Sia thought she was just bored. But as the days passed and there was no message from him, she began to panic. Had something happened to him? Was he alright? Had Ram found him and killed him?

Sia was almost delirious with joy when he returned. She flung herself at him with relief. He laughed and said, “It’s not time yet.”

The little interlude made her realise that someday when they would actually part ways she wouldn’t be able to bear it. She wished she could do something to prevent it. But she couldn’t even pray. For whom would she pray to? The God who was going to kill Ravan.


Although he spent all the time he could with her, showing her his palace, his inventions much as she wished Ravan would touch her, he didn’t. She was sure he could feel her desire, but he chose not to mention it.

Sia knew she was pretty. Almost beautiful with her slim spritely figure, clear skin, brown eyes and heart-shaped face. She often wondered what kind of a woman would Ravan like. And in reply came Mandodri.

The queen herself. She was everything Sia wasn’t. Yet she was enchanting. Dark, well endowed and she wore the deepest red Sari. She looked like one of those exotic tribal women who came to her father’s court. Just not tribal. But royal.

Mandodri glared at Sia. For 10 minutes she studied Sia’s every feature as if she were a subject. Finally Mandodri said “You are not his type.” Sia knew that already from experience.



Slowly but surely Ram had arrived on the shores of Lanka. He had collected a huge army of the most terrible beasts. They made the demons of Lanka seem docile. The war began. The two forces from either end of the spectrum had assembled on the battle field In the middle of this great cosmic upheaval was she, Sia. She had spent almost 13 years with a man she no longer loved and one with a being who never loved her. Every righteous woman believed her husband was a God. Being married to a God, Sia wished he was a man.


On the 18th day of the war Ravan gave up his life to an ill aimed arrow by Ram.

Her year of freedom was over. And Sia had reached a decision. She didn’t want to leave. So committed Sati along with the other Lankan women. Later guised as the Agnipariksha.

In order to save himself from the disgrace that his wife had chosen another over him, Ram took a tribal woman as Sia. People change in 14 years and some say she did have a striking resemblance to Sia.

However, the woman was a constant reminder to Ram of the one area he had failed. So finally, he sent her away on some trivial pretext of a dhobi’s complain.